How to be a Great Mother in Law

mother-in-law3

Building a Good Relationship With Your Son’s Wife

With these tips, you’ll learn how to say “I love you” without even opening your mouth. Before you know it, you’ll build a good relationship with your son’s wife – and she’ll think you’re a great mother in law.
To be a great mother in law, DO:
1. Remember that your children and daughter in law have their own lives. If you want to see them, call and ask when they’re available.
2. Be flexible. Flexibility is a prime way to be a great mother in law.
3. Ask “why” if your daughter in law asks you to change your behavior. Ask why to understand better, not to argue or defend yourself.
4. Be patient if you experience hostility, suspicion, or distance from your daughter in law. Build a good relationship with your daughter in law by not reacting immediately to slights.
5. Ask before you help with dinner, housecleaning, or rearranging the furniture. Building a good relationship with your daughter in law involves knowing your boundaries.
6. Accept and learn about your daughter in law’s generation, culture, nationality, age, and mindset – which is supposed to be different than yours!
7. Talk openly, honestly, and humbly about miscommunications, arguments, or other conflicts with her. Talk about building a good relationship with your daughter in law and your experiences as a mother in law.
8. Be responsive to your daughter in law’s needs and feelings even if you don’t understand them. Building a good relationship with your daughter in law is about empathy.
9. Treat all your children equally – including your in-laws. A great mother in law is impartial and fair.
10. Respect your daughter in law. Look at the positive side of her rather than the negative side.
11. Tell mother in law jokes!
To be a great mother in law, DON’T:
1. Walk into your daughter in law’s house whenever you feel like it. Building a good relationship with your daughter in law requires respect.

2. Give your daughter in law advice unless asked.

3. Comment on your daughter in law’s parenting, housekeeping, cooking, or relationship skills (or your son’s).

4. Punish your family when they don’t conform to your expectations. Be a great mother in law by letting your family be themselves.

5. Make up stories about your son or your son’s wife.

6. Comment on your daughter in law’s personality such as hair, clothes, weight, makeup, job, income, extracurricular activities, or cosmetic surgery (unless you’re offering genuine, sincere compliments!).

7. Talk constantly about your gout, trips, past, death, funeral arrangements, or garden. Build a good relationship with your daughter in law by being interested in her.

8. Hold a grudge or try to make her your son’s wife or son feel guilty.

9. Exclude your daughter in law from serious events in your life, such as surgeries or medical diagnoses. Being a great mother in law involves honesty.

10. Be mean or grumpy to your daughter in law. Be a great mother in law by being polite and kind.

11. Discipline your grandchildren your way.

12. Feed the grandchildren “forbidden” foods. Heed your daughter in law’s house rules.

13. Take control of family holidays, events, or visits. Be a great mother in law by letting go.

14. Call your daughter in law or grandchildren names. Build a good relationship with your daughter in law by being respectful.

15. Nag. Build a good relationship with your daughter in law by letting things go.

16. Force your perspective or way of doing things on your son’s wife.

17. Ignore your daughter in law.

18. Wait for your son to leave the room and then make “harmless”, unhelpful or even snide comments to your daughter in law about their lifestyle.

19. Complain that your daughter in law is wasting electricity, water, plastic sandwich bags, wrapping paper, or bows. A great mother in law keeps her opinions to herself.

20. Don’t forget that all your children – including your son’s wife – feels loved and appreciated in different ways.

These do’s and don’ts will help you build a good relationship with your son’s wife. The bonus is that they’re really ways to say “I love you” and “I value you” without even having to say the words!

This articel specially dedicated to Kak Mala…………………………

Leave a comment

Filed under Family

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s