1. STOP TALKING – You cannot listen while you are talking. Polonius said: “Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice.”
2. PUT THE SPEAKER AT EASE – Help him feel that he is free to talk.
3. SHOW HIM THAT YOU WANT TO LISTEN – Look and act interested. Don’t ignore him while he talks. Listen to understand…rather than to reply.
4. REMOVE DISTRACTIONS – Don’t doodle, tap your foot or shuffle papers.
5. EMPATHIZE WITH HIM – Try to put yourself in his shoes so you can see his point of view.
6. BE PATIENT – Allow plenty of time. Don’t interrupt him. Don’t start for the door or walk away.
7. HOLD YOUR TEMPER – An angry man gets the wrong meaning from words. “He who angers you, conquers you.”
8. GO EASY ON ARGUMENT AND CRITICISM – This puts him on the defensive. He may ‘clam up’ or get angry. Don’t argue. If you win…you lose.
9. ASK QUESTIONS – This encourages him and shows that your are listening. It helps develop points further.
10. STOP TALKING – This is the first and last commandment, because all the others depend on it. You just can’t do a good job of listening while you’re talking!